Conflicted about cats

Hi! I had a dream about cats last night, so I thought that I would talk about them today. I’ve been inundated with cat posts online and just reminders all the time about cats. And it makes me happy and sad at the same time.

Well, I miss my cat Leo very much. I had to put him to sleep in June, and it’s been a rough several months without him. He had liver disease. He was 17, and I had him for 16 years. I adopted him right after I moved into my first apartment and got my first real-world job.

Well, I am very conflicted about whether I should get another cat. First off, I absolutely can’t get one until I get another job. But I don’t know if I will get one then, either. I feel so guilty about how I feel right now. I love cats so much, and I loved Leo with all my heart and soul.

But I feel so guilty because I am enjoying not having a cat. I hate feeling that way. I am not glad he’s gone at all, of course, but it sure sounds like I am. I don’t have to buy food, clean a litterbox, clean up vomit, wake up to meowing at 3 a.m., clean up fur off everything, etc. I don’t miss that stuff. And I don’t know if I want to deal with all that again. Plus, I’d have to train a new kitty. Leo was trained to not vomit on the bed, to not get on the kitchen counters, to not climb shelves. He knew the word “no.” He also was declawed — he was like that when I adopted him; I don’t support declawing — and I’d have to get used to a clawed cat. I’d have to start all over with a new kitty. I don’t know if I have the patience for that anymore.

But then I think about the other stuff. The companionship. The laughter. The adorableness. The boopable belly. The looks he would give me. The sweet kitty meows. Attack Kitty Mode. And I miss all that more than I can even describe. I mean, look at those photos!

So, I’m conflicted. I think that my current plan is to not go looking for a cat to adopt, but if one pops up, maybe I’ll adopt that one. I supposed if I’m meant to have another cat, this is how it will happen. But I think I’m OK with the fact that I may never get another cat. Maybe one day, after the pandemic, I will get my “kitty fix” by volunteering at a no-kill shelter or something.

Until next time!

The Frazzled Daisy

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