That old feeling

Hey, everyone! I’m feeling a bit old today. Why? Well, my niece is now a teenager. Thirteen years old. The big 1-3. Shew. I remember the day she was born, and now she’s 13.

Photo by Ylanite Koppens on
Happy birthday to my niece!

So many things have happened in those 13 years. I remember I quit my job in Lynchburg when I found out my sister was pregnant so I could move closer. My whole thought was that I grew up far away from my extended family, and so I wanted to be close by. Of course, circumstances change, and job opportunities ended up dictating where I lived.

But, in 2007, I moved to Bristol while searching for a house, then I moved to Johnson City in Tennessee when I bought the house. So, in the time since then, I became an aunt twice, I moved twice, I bought and paid for two cars and I worked at three different newspapers. I took a year and a half to sell the house. I fell into massive debt and paid it all off. I went through at least two major weight losses and major weight gains. I had my gallbladder removed. I made friends and lost contact with too many of them. I survived a ton of tropical storms and Hurricane Matthew. I broke my toe. And, of course, the most difficult one: I had to say goodbye to my father.

It is kind of insane to think about how much I’ve done in 13 years and how much time I’ve wasted. I hate thinking about time, but sometimes I just can’t help it. In another 13 years, my niece will be 26, and I’ll be 50. I mean, gahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. I really need to live in the now more than thinking about how old I will be in 13 years.

I don’t really remember much from when I was 13. I don’t have the kind of memory where I can go “That happened when I was 13!” My childhood memories kind of all run together. I remember the age I was for some of them just based on the circumstances of the memory, but mostly, I dunno. I do know, though, that 13 was not a good year for me. Middle school, man, middle school. Those are two years that I kind of always try to forget. Ugh.

But middle school is long gone, and I’ll be 38 next week. I’m very glad to have made it this far, considering I almost died half my life ago. But I’m still allowed to feel old as crap. I will say, though, that the exercise I’ve been doing has made me feel much less old.

So, happy birthday to my niece! Until next time!

The Old Frazzled Daisy

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