Tomorrow marks one month since I started on my journey to attempt to change my life one “petal” at a time. I decided to split this up into two entries (stay tuned for Part 2 tomorrow), so I don’t make the entry too long.
OK, so June 16 was a roller coaster of a day. It started off with me deciding that since my position at work will be eliminated at some point, probably at the beginning of next year, I decided (after talking it out with my mom) that I need to make a career change. That decision in itself was a huge step. However, sadly, I have not made much progress. I have absolutely no idea what to do, where to start or anything. My job skills are fairly limited, so I would have to take classes or go back to school, but I have not decided what I would even want to do. I want to point out that I really do love what I do (newspaper design and editing), but I am tired of going from job to job, trying to outrun the inevitability that my career choice is becoming obsolete. (On a side note: Support your local news!) I tried so hard for 16 years, but I think I have finally come to the finish line. If, by some chance, I get to keep my job or am offered another position, that would be great. I hope that happens. But I absolutely have to take some action in case that does not happen.
So, that was the morning of June 16. Just a couple hours later, I noticed my cat Leo was extremely ill. He was diagnosed as having liver problems back in April, but he was doing OK up until June 16. I made the heart-wrenching decision of putting him to sleep. He was 17, and I had had him for 16 years. I was completely devastated. I miss his little face, his green eyes, his fuzzy tail, his meow. I miss how we had a connection, that I knew what he wanted, what each of his meows meant, when he wanted me to follow him, that he would sit on my lap in the winter but only sit next to me in the summer, that he loved belly rubs but only at just the right time, that he would paw at me for pets, that he hated liver but loved pretty much any other food — especially cheese and ham — that his favorite toy was the laser pointer — he would always lick his lips after “catching” it — and just so much more. May you always be alive in my memories, sweet boy.
So, that night, I didn’t eat much at all. Strangely enough, that prompted me to go on a crazy diet and start exercising. So, I have been exercising every day for about three weeks (except for two days when I was sick). I mainly go for a jog/walk, then lift some weights. I am so proud of myself for actually doing this every day. Though, today, it was about 9283459043584930 degrees outside, so I only walked. I have noticed that I take less time to catch my breath after jogging, I can feel my stomach muscles getting stronger and my joints are actually feeling better. I haven’t been in pain since a few days after starting the exercises. My goal is to eventually be able to jog my entire route and not just the first part. I would also like to exercise longer, though I may not have time to do that — so, maybe harder exercise at some point instead.
As for the diet, that is going well too. I am doing the intermittent fasting thing. I am eating one meal a day (dinner). That has been a bit of a challenge, but my mom is so awesome that she started making dinner a little earlier than she used to. (Yes, I live with my mom who makes my meals. It is awesome and amazing and a topic for another day’s blog entry.) I have only eaten lunch three times in this past month. Once because my mom and I went out and got some Chick-fil-A grilled chicken sandwiches. (One of my attempts to leave the house, which resulted in a panic attack. So many people without masks and not giving a crap about other people means I can’t go out.) Two other times I had lunch was because I was feeling insanely light-headed, so I had some toast.
But I have completely cut out all junk food. The only snack that I had as an option was some Welch’s fruit snacks because they are fairly healthy. I say “had” though, as they have orange juice in them, and I am allergic. But I have not had cookies, cakes, pies, chips or any other junk. I have not had my favorite junk food of all time: ice cream. Now, THAT has been difficult. Man oh man, ice cream is just the best. Changing topics before I break my diet and get ice cream, I also stopped using creamer in my coffee. And I found out that I like my coffee black, and I still can’t believe it.
For the most part, dinner has been healthy as well. I did overindulge last night, with an extremely delicious pizza roll filled with pepperoni, pineapple, ham, spinach, tomatoes and cheese. It was soooo good, but I definitely am upset with myself for eating it. I really have to watch myself when it comes to pizza-related foods. Ice cream and pizza are my weaknesses for sure.
So, the biggest thing right now is finding the motivation to stay on the diet and keep exercising, because I am stuck at the 25-pound plateau. I believe I marked it last Tuesday or Wednesday, and I haven’t lost another pound since. I know that exercise means that I am maybe converting fat to muscle, but I really want to lose one more pound, darn it! I do realize what I ate last night did not help at all. But come ON! I am 15 pounds away from my first goal, 45 pounds away from my main goal and 65 pounds away from my fantasy goal. I need my motivation to stick around for quite a while!
Tomorrow, I will talk about the other changes I’ve made. Until then!